east coasters: i drove through 17 states on the way to work
west coasters: i have been traveling in this desert for 49 years. generations have died. children have been born. when will i make it to the promised land
Midwesterners: I haven't left a 20 mile radius in 2 years


when ur walking by people and they laugh


Hey guys it’s Todd again. As you can see I’m ridin through the city having a fucking BLAST baby! Hahaa yeah! White guys connect, looking for any single females, yeah baby.


Im not allowed outside after dark because i outshine all the stars and the moon so baby sea turtles always end up flocking to me

How the Logic of "Friendzoning" Would Work If Applied in Other Instances:
*Man walks into a store and finds employee*
Man: Alright, I've had enough. Why haven't you guys hired me?!
Employee: Uh...well sir, when did you put in your application?
Man: I never filled out an application.
Employee: Well sir, we can't consider you for employment if you've never filled out an application.
Man: No, that's bullshit, because I've been coming here for years now, and every single time I tell you all how much I love this store and how much I appreciate your customer service, unlike some of your other customers might I add!
Employee: Well, but that doesn't-
Man: AND I even told you that I didn't have a job!
Employee: But sir, that doesn't indicate to us that you would like a job at our store. And again, if you've never filled out an application, we can't consider you. Besides, we're not hiring.
Man: OH! Not hiring, HA! What a laugh. I see your store go through seasonal workers all the time. They come and go like nothing, but you won't consider me as a part-time employee even though I KNOW you've been looking for workers to fill positions? That's insane!
Employee: Sir, we've been looking to hire a few people for management positions. Do you have any management experience?
Man: Well no, but what does that matter?
Employee: ...Well sir, that's what we're looking for. You won't be suitable for the position without management experience.
Man: Oh that's such a load of crap. You know, you'll be waiting around a long time for a manager if you don't lower your standards a little. Who cares if someone knows how to manage a store? I LOVE this store and I'm willing to work here, that's all that should matter to you.
Employee: That...doesn't make any sense.
Man: NO! I'm done. This is over. From now on, no more Mr. Nice Guy.
Man: Fuck you, slut.







My bestfriend coolpup97 is being harassed by tumblr user metal-cute

Alaska added her on facebook and didnt reply to her message, which isn’t that big of a deal you would think, right? I mean they barely know eachother and everything.

nope. apprently its a big deal for Delia, aka Metal-cute.

She proceeds to reblog Alaskas selfie with the tag “asshole” one day and we were like “??? okay…” 

that makes someone feel really great about themselves right?

we basically let it go and kept ignoring her until earlier today she does it again, alaska messages her and tells her to just leave them alone because they seriously don’t have to talk to anyone.

Now apprently it’s some “experiment” to get their attention which is fucking creepy as hell and to do that to someone is extremely fucking rude.

This person has

  • treated alaska like an experiment
  • called them an asshole for no reason
  • literally harassed them for not talking to them on facebook
  • misgendered the FUCK out of them then pretended to apologize using the excuse that they have “never met a non binary person in there life.” which fucking makes no sense when Alaska pronouns are right on their blog.
  • emotionally manipulated them
  • claimed alaska “looked more like a boy than girl” which is the most dense thing anyones EVER said in my life
  • is a fucking creepy freak

please reblog this so people can see how fucking creepy they are and unfollow them or report them for harassment. because this is not fucking okay.

hey look everyone they’re transphobic as well 

ah yes the “special snowflake” card amazing

Right now you’re doing the same to her. Doesn’t make you better though. 

tell me how im being transphobic and misgendering her while stalking her blog for two weeks and calling her an asshole for no reason oh wait u cant ;/


"God damn it!" i yell as i stub my toe on a table. suddenly from the sky, i hear god reply "okay". the floor splits open, revealing a pit to hell. god pushes the table down into the pit, and then it seals up. he actually did it. god damned it.


me: *touches my phone for 0.01 seconds*


"i was born in the wrong generation" i say as i steal my grandkids hoverboards because fuck you i was promised these years ago